Diaper

[Spoiler alert! …appetite spoiler, that is]

I didn’t think diapers were going to be that big of deal. I was set on buying the cheapest… rationale: they are just going to be pooped in and thrown away. Little did I know. It actually takes a special diaper to be “pooped in.” At least by my son.

He has quite a gift. Some how, he is able to poop outside of his diaper. Sometimes, the diaper isn’t even soiled – yet his clothes and anything around him: covered. Interesting phenomenon.

Caden was about four weeks old when my grandmother and I took a trip to a fabric store. We were there choosing fabric to make into inexpensive receiving blankets. Innocent enough, the trip became most memorable. I was carrying my baby through the store (as any competent mother would do, knowing that physical contact promotes brain development and emotional bonding). I never considered the other practical reasons to put children in strollers…. no… the only think separating me from my baby was a thin piece of soft baby clothing. That sweet little baby bottom squirted liquid poop right out the side of his diaper – all over his onsie and me. I hadn’t even had the sense to bring a diaper bag into the store with me.

Well, I am a new mom after all. That term has more implications than I know – take this a simple warning… don’t stand too close to new moms and their babies!

Never the less, my new baby and I were covered in poop. I quickly rushed out to the car where I had left the diaper bag. This day, my obsessive planning finally paid off. I had all the goods to clean up. I triaged the situation: cut it off at the source – I must first deal with the poop filled diaper. After changing that, I wiped down the poop covered baby and changed his clothes. I then quarantined all soiled linens and trash. Now me. Yes, I had even brought a change of clothes for myself. But I had to take time to remember what the laws were on stripping in a public parking lot. Sleep deprivation sure does a number on cognition. I decided that the authorities would understand if I was approached regarding the topless moment. Surely poop on clothes is a great reason to break the law. Live and learn, right? And this was just the beginning of the day. There were two more poop explosions later, but in case you haven’t eaten yet, I’ll spare you those details. Life just doesn’t get better than this.

So have I overcome the poop? Nearly. Through trying four or five different types of diapers my husband and I noticed that the poop was most easily cleaned up when we used pampers. Pampers were not by any means impermeable to Caden’s bowels, however the likelihood of it staying in the diaper was much greater than other brands. They happen to be the softest diapers too. Oh, and the most expensive – go figure. However… I resolved to solely buy pampers because I found that I was changing his diaper less often – as pampers had a lower likelihood of leaking whatever was in the diaper. Fewer diapers used = money saved, even if they are a little more expensive initially.

If you do not suffer from the same symptoms of poop explosions as we have, and huggies or the infamous ‘parents choice’ brand work for you – then go for it. Why spend more when the cheap ones get the job done. But if you find the job is not getting done… give pampers swaddles a try.

*I did give cloth diapers a try. I found something about myself in the process. i am just not green enough for such a task.

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